2015-12-09-BFP1470-furtrader


1470 Fur Trader.

44 Comments

These 3 probably don’t realize it, but Ed and Mike would probably hang out even without them asking. Jo might be aware they are friendly, but Jess is a little too self obsessed and Reggie would have a hard time accepting that anyone would want to hang out with Mike, just because he still feels Mike is incompetent… Although he’s certainly softened his opinion since the beginning.

Everything from this point on is a really angry rant and NO ONE should read it. If it makes you angry it’s on you for continuing. I gave you the spoiler warning.

I Try to have the current week’s comics finished before the week starts. At one point I was two weeks ahead, ages ago, before the hospital stays. I find that if I can keep about a week ahead of things I am more emotionally stable and don’t kill myself with worry as much as if I’m running day to day. The two week buffer was like some kind of fever dream, looking back on it. I had time to try things and fail while still delivering something I was more happy with. It’s Tuesday and I still haven’t finished Friday’s page. This is the most behind I’ve been since getting out of the hospital. Things just keep fucking me over. I still don’t know how I will feel from moment to moment. I can sit down to work feeling perfectly normal, then suddenly I’m dizzy, nauseous, or any number of random things that makes work nigh impossible. Last night I finally got a moment to work and fell asleep on the floor until 5 in the morning. Of course sleeping on the floor made me feel shitty, so I got into bed and slept till 4 in the afternoon. 14 hours. 14 hours and when I woke up I felt like I could just keep sleeping. No headache from sleeping too much, nothing. I wanted to keep lying there. If I didn’t have to make dinner and feed the dogs I would have. In all honesty, I don’t know if I’ll finish that page tonight either. I’m so stressed and angry all the time that I just want to scream and break things. Every time anyone mentions goddamn, motherfucking, Xmas I get so mad I have to tell them I don’t want to talk about it for fear on lashing out when it’s not really their fault. The teen loves Xmas and will not shut her fucking pie hole about it. In spite of the fact that she KNOWS how angry it all makes me she insists on telling me how many days till it’s here, pestering me to buy presents, and every other things that goes along with it. The other day they bought me “Grinch pills” because my rage is spilling out into the open pretty easily now. It took all my willpower not to flip my shit.
The only thing xmas stuff does to me now is remind me of every fucking year I spent in retail dealing with people shopping for it. Entitled, rude, shitty people every day, constant carols. I aqctually regret using the name Carol for a character EVERY YEAR, but I just had to keep my fucking name theme going.

I only like Xmas from the actual moment my family is together for it. Even then it’s a mix of loving them and wishing they would keep their opinions to themselves… There’s a limit to the number of times I can hear about the good ideas Donald Trump has and we passed it well before Thanksgiving. You know, Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy, except for killing those Jews. He liked dogs and children. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.