2015-10-05-BFP1442-itpours


1442 It Pours.

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It took a while to decide on the perfect embarrassing song. I wanted something that will never stop being played, but also funny out of context. I thing It’s Raining Men is the perfect song for that, when the subject is a straight male. It’s also catchy and fun, so singing it when you aren’t being watched is enticing. It was probably on the radio and Mike just started singing along because he was already singing the other songs.

I asked the Patrons if I could share the special Nina drawing and, so far, they seem to want to keep it for themselves. It’s actually surprising to me because, as an artist, I’m culturally trained to dick myself over by giving my work away. Maybe I can talk them in to letting me show it off after some time has passed. XD

The last few days it’s been cold a couple of times at various points in the day. It seems to have put down some of the allergens that historically make it much harder for me to sleep. I’ve been able to sleep with the mask on, but sometimes I wake up shaking, like when I’ve had a really bad anxiety attack. I come to shivering, feeling scared, and cold. This morning it was really bad. Eventually it subsided, but it was very disruptive. I’ve been trying to build my strength back up, but I’m still having times where it’s knotted up so bad I can hardly function. Once I get over that I’m fine for a while. Of course feeling out of sorts makes it much easier to slip into irrational panic, which muddies up the “real” symptoms I have with the ones that come along with anxiety. I’ve had enough of a problem now that I’m genuinely considering trying medication, since I’m having a lot of trouble maintaining control.

My left side has always given me problems. That’s the arm that has weird pains. The knuckle pain I get is on that hand. I have had a weird mass of squishy flesh that started the very first time I ever had blood drawn on that elbow crease. The other arm, which has also been used to draw blood, is totally fine. My left hip is the bad one, the left foot is the one that has tried to get me killed twice. My left ear and jaw are the ones that always get infected, sore lymph nodes, or numbness from allergies. I always get spasms on my left side too. The only left part of my body that isn’t less good is my left eye. It’s slightly better than my right. Does anyone else feel like this, or is it just some weirdness unique to me?

When I woke up my hands were numb from laying on them, which makes me have weird dreams. I was having one about zombies who had trapped me and some werewolves in a store. It was very original Resident Evil. The game, not the movie. Anyway, like I said, I’m doing exercises to try and build my strength back up. I’m at that point where it seems to be making things worse before it gets better.