1010 You’ve Earned It.


I swear Thomas did this to Ed once early on. Or maybe I intended for him to… Certain jokes and references are so ingrained in my head that it’s hard to remember what I have and haven’t done. Having scenes get moved around, or saved for years, doesn’t help either because they’re always sort of in the back of my head, and I don’t always dump the file from memory after I use it. Plus, sometimes repetition is intentional. Ghostbusters was one of my ultimate movie favorites when I was little so the jokes from it are kind of ever present in my life. Between it and Star Wars you’ve got my childhood quote mines covered.

It’s hard to tell, but the candy bar Thomas is holding is a Childnut bar. One of many fake, off brand, candybars I concocted in case I ever needed to make candy related jokes. Other bars include Eat Me, Barely Ruth, Pretty Munch, Eat DX, Gummi Dongs (gummis shaped like bells), and Peanut Shot. In my mind they are all imported brands from places where they don’t understand English as well as they think they do. Childnut and Barely Ruth are both versions of the Baby Ruth bar done slightly incorrectly.

Where I come from there’s a company called Tom’s Snacks that kind of makes all the “fake” versions of snack foods in the area. I don’t know if they are a nationwide thing or what, but I never see them around here. There’s nothing wrong with the snacks other than you can tell what they were trying to make, but fell just shy of it every time. Some of the names of them are also kind of hilariously off to me. Thick & Bold, Tangy Tom’s, Puffed Cheezers… sound somehow wrong. Almost every other thing they make are just called what they are with no attempt to get creative. Probably because when they do things go slightly awry.
I’m not 100% sure it’s the same company, but there are these thing’s called Senor Tom’s Wheat Snacks that I used to eat all the time. Only Senor Tom made them for ages, but eventually Frito Lay trotted out their version of them. It’s the only case I can think of where Tom wins the contest. The Frito kind are too limey.
Both versions of these things are kind of like big Captain Crunch sqares, in so far as they rip the inside of your mouth apart as you eat them. That’s part of why I stopped eating them. It takes a couple days for your mouth to heal. They’re also not particularly good for you. Shocking, I know… Still, every so often I see them in a store and subject myself to them again. I guess it’s one of those pleasure is pain kind of relationships…