631 Never Came Up.


There’s a part of me that can’t believe I actually did this joke.  It’s much smaller than the part that cracks up at it.  ^_____^

What do cartoonists talk about you may wonder.  Wonder no more:

Agoutipatootey: HEY YOU!

betweenfailures:     Hey.

Agoutipatootey: I have INSANE NEWS!

betweenfailures:     Insane is it?

Agoutipatootey: It is OUTsane, that’s how insane it is!

betweenfailures:     WHOAAAAAAA!

Agoutipatootey: Our downstairs neighbor tried to kill her boyfriend.

betweenfailures:     But didn’t get it done by the looks of your sentence.

Agoutipatootey: Nope, but she got pretty close.

betweenfailures:     How did this strange series of events go down?

Agoutipatootey: WELL…     The other day, a cop came to the door and asked me if I’d heard anything  and I’m all “No, what’s going on?” because I notice that there are cops everywhere and they have police tape around the unit downstairs and they say that she stabbed him in the neck and stomach.

betweenfailures:     Those places are important for living!

Agoutipatootey: He  called 911 and talked to the operator until he passed out.  When the cops arrived, they caught a blood-soaked woman fleeing the scene

betweenfailures:     She didn’t flee very well then.   You’re sposta flee right away.  That’s the optimal feeing time.    You don’t wait around to get your flee on is what I’m saying.

Agoutipatootey: She is doing it wrong!

betweenfailures:     She’s going to get raped with a broom handle the right way now, so it all evens out, I guess.

Agoutipatootey: Ha ha!  Prison rape…

betweenfailures:     Do you know the whys and wherefores?

Agoutipatootey: Nothing too clear, but the other neighbors say that she has a history of being crazy and that she’d just switched to some new anti-freak out pills…     that apparently don’t work.     After the cops cleared out, her landlord let us view the crime scene

betweenfailures:     XD  did she charge you to look?

Agoutipatootey: Naw, first time is free.     Let me tell you, there was a lotta blood

betweenfailures:     It’s amazing how much you can lose an not die.

Agoutipatootey: Yeah, tell me about it.     There were big  goopy pools of it in the bedrooms, then a trail of blooddrops leading out to the foyer

betweenfailures:     Gross.  How bad a shape is the dude in?

Agoutipatootey: He’s in stable condition now.

betweenfailures:     That’s good then.

Thomas: Gonna try and knock their socks off from the get go?

Somesortofrobot: Something like that.
I want to show something good,
and that page would make a really good thing to showcase

Thomas: It’s not something you’ve posted though, right?

Somesortofrobot: Nope.

Thomas: Well I look forward to seeing it later then.

Somesortofrobot: And you will.

Thomas: Oh will I now!? We’ll see about that!

Somesortofrobot: lol
Thomas: Also, everything is porn.  Ever and always.

Somesortofrobot: Tree rings?

Thomas: Ever and always.

Somesortofrobot: I guess I’ll just have to accept it
though still make fun of people for it.
Thomas: Just be warned, someday you may find something weird you like and then it will all boomerang back on you. Like a returning stick of doom!

Somesortofrobot: Well,
the day that happens
you can say I told you so.

Thomas: And I will. Oh, will I ever!
I might even get one in before it happens just to make sure.

Somesortofrobot: Oh, I’ve come to expect as such

Thomas: Good good.
I can see it now. You’ll be all “I can’t help it, Ziploc bags make the experience better!” And I’ll be all “Remember may 23, 2010? I told you so! Told you so very hard!”
And that’s the story of how you get the nickname Ziploc.

Somesortofrobot: or doggybag.

Thomas: Whatever you prefer. I think Ziploc sounds cooler, and it’s a brand name.

Somesortofrobot: hmmm,
I should copyright that.

Thomas: People can say “what up, Ziplock?” And you can say “Keepin’ it fresh, yo.”

Somesortofrobot: Now with zipper action!

Thomas: Yellow and blue make green!
I guess if you go with doggy bag you can say “Takin’ it home to the missus.”

Somesortofrobot: Oh, lol.

betweenfailures: I’ve never asked formally, but I always assumed if ever I wanted to have Ginger in a comic it would be alright.  Am I correct in thinking this?

crazycarl: Yep,  I’d totally be honored.

betweenfailures:     Gewd.  Gewd.   Ginger’s anal sex adventure is a go!

crazycarl: I’m sure it would garner more visitors than my own comics!

betweenfailures:     Fun for the whole family.

Except the kids.

And the grandparents.

Fun for select members of the family would be more accurate.

crazycarl: Although, oddly enough, Great-Grandma is really enjoying it.

betweenfailures:     Memaw was a hellcat in her day.

betweenfailures:     How’s work?

crazycarl: Not too bad. It’s getting hot though, so it’s sometimes unpleasant in the field.

betweenfailures:     I spose it would be.  Finding anything interesting?

crazycarl: Nothing excitingly new, but we’ve just started, and hopefully soon we’ll start rafting down the river to sites. We’ll be camping overnight a few times.

betweenfailures:     Sounds dangerous.

crazycarl: I am an archaeologist. We’ve been working along the rapids right now. Doing some dangerous boulder climbing.

betweenfailures:     I like how saying what you are is an explanation.

crazycarl: Haha

betweenfailures:     I’m an archaeologist…  Bears do not threaten me.