486 Dickcraft.


Since I’ve been having to make pages over the course of a few days recently I’ve had moments when I’ve deceived myself into thinking I’m skilled enough to get fancy with them.  This page is representative of these delusions. 

I had a sudden memory of something that happened when I was a kid.  I was on a school trip and I saw Adam Sandler do his Halloween costume bit for the first time.  This would have been within a couple of days, before or after, of Curt Cobane dying.  Assuming my memory is correct.  I laughed really hard, and one of the girls was taken aback by it.  Someone asked why she reacted that way and she said she’d never seen me laugh honestly before.  Her answer surprised me because I’d never thought about it.  I just acted how I acted. 

I remember very little else about that trip.  I can barely remember the faces of the kids who went with me, let alone their names; but I remember that moment when the whole room was briefly focused on me.  To this day I avoid direct eye contact with anyone outside my circle, but I remember looking that girl right in the eyes. 

Most of my memories are presented in a dreamlike, third person, imagining for some reason, but that moment I remember experiencing inside my own head.  I wonder why.