2016-11-07-bf1612-figured


1612 Figured.

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It’s never been mentioned in the comic but Nina rides a motorcycle. Part of why it’s never come up is because I could never draw a motorcycle, let alone a person riding one. That said, it’s been in my mind for years. In fact, my amiibo for Mario Kart is Nina because she was supposed to have a motorcycle. I really loved the inclusion of bikes in Mario Kart on the Wii. Peach was my go to on her bike for most of the game, and Nina is kind of like her in certain ways. The cast never says anything because they already know about Nina’s bike and people never talk about cars and stuff unless there’s a problem after the initial conversation. Usually I try to establish something like this in advance, but I was never sure if it would ever come up. Long story short Nina is in a riding jacket. It’s the kind that has metal plates and stuff in it for safety. A guy I used to sell games to had one like it in yellow. His looked more like RPG armor, but I didn’t want to make Nina’s so complex I couldn’t draw it over and over.

Motocycles used to be a big thing in my family. My grandpa and grandma raced them in their youth until my great grandmother convinced grandma not to ever again after a wreck. Grandpa almost always had one. My uncles did too. Everyone used to say that they’d get killed on them, but they died in not motorcycle ways because life is fucking chaos and death is ever at our heels. I’ve only got two uncles left and it’s unlikely that motorcycles will get them. Although I think they should still watch their backs… I like motorbikes as a concept, but actually driving one for long on a road just seems like you’re asking for trouble. I prefer more crumplezones around me when it comes to driving.

Crumplezone would be a good name for a Transformer.

I’m in a better place today than Friday as far as my mood is concerned. I’m still struggling to keep up with posting but I expect I’ll get by. I had to gather up the teen yesterday from spending the night in town, then we went out to eat for my Dad’s birthday. I would have had more comic done if not for these things, but there’s just no getting around distractions sometimes. I need to work on the next page but I’m already sleepy and want to go to bed, so who knows how things will go. Maybe I’ll do it all tomorrow morning. Maybe I’ll do it an hour before it goes up because the kid will have some goddam thing she has to go to or the whole fucking world will collapse in on itself. There’s just no way to know. All is chaos.

I am dangerously close to blowing money on something to distract myself. Which is basically my substitute for addiction. Every so often I get shit for all the random crap I own, but it fills the hole that some other addiction would otherwise occupy. I may have a shitload of junk, but I’ve never driven drunk, dated a convict, or shot someone for drugs, so anyone with a problem with that is welcomed to a piping hot mug of shut the fuck up, with marshmallows dissolving on top. I lived the don’t do drugs lifestyle the media shoved down my throat my whole life and this is the result. I’m socially crippled, but I never had a beer. Yay.

As bitter as that sounds I would probably be dead now if I drank in my youth. My body would not have survived the bullshit I’ve put it through if I had thrown my predisposition for excess in with alcohol. Fewer people would have characterized me as a manchild, but I’d be dead, so… On balance I’ve won in some way, I think. And so have you in that I’ve created this comic you enjoy. Everyone’s a winner, moderately.

In my youth I was more hardline but now I don’t care if you drink, or do drugs, or whatever, as long as you don’t fuck someone else over because of it. If you do that all bets are off and I hope you die in the most painful way possible. Handle your high or hit the bricks. That is, of course, a ridiculously simplified way to look at things and laughable in many respects, seeing as addiction is a complex problem, but I’ve got my own shit to deal with so try not to mix yours in with mine, you know?

One of my friends is openly attracted to me romantically, and I can’t deny we get along well, but I’ve made a point not to let it go anywhere meaningful because she has extremely bad depression and combining those aspects of our personalities would be roughly equivalent to putting a gun in each of our mouths and cocking them. Eventually someone would pull a trigger. Even in my best of moods I have a dark sense of humor and poor impulse control. I know I would just fan the flames until a total disaster occurred. The saving grave of my personality is self awareness. I have just enough to know when not to do some things. Throughout my life I’ve had so many moments of choosing to be the responsible party and it’s honestly been a real buzzkill.

People wonder why I haven’t done so many things and it’s because I weighed the options and didn’t take the chance. On paper it should look good. I didn’t do the dumb things, but most people are the kind of people who do the dumb things, so they don’t understand how I’ve lived my life. They openly mock my responsible life choices. I’m not contributing to their misery, but I’m the one who’s the loser… It really explodes my Megaman.