I’m asleep. Will write blog later. Love, J.T.
Today is the Teen’s 18th birthday. She is very excited. I can’t even remember my 18th birthday. Basically nothing is going to change, although technically my parents are no longer her legal guardian. In the eyes of the law she is an adult and responsible for her own fate. Of course she’s still basically dependent on them, and me to a lesser degree, for food, shelter, and everything you need to not die. So things really aren’t changing at all. Not in a practical sense.
She wants a piercing for her birthday, which I don’t support, so I won’t contribute to. She hasn’t really appreciated any gift I’ve given her over the last two years, so now I just buy whatever I think will be useful to her and expect no gratitude. It’s kind of freeing in a way. Lowered expectations really are the key to happiness.
Yesterday I went to the store in daylight because it was, like, 58 degrees all day. It was still too hot inside, but I didn’t have to go to the car to cool off. I wanted to, but I was able to finish without having to. Today I don’t feel extra worse than normal, so I’m apparently doing better than I thought. On Friday I might try going to my old town to see the Hastings I worked at for so many years one last time before it closes on Saturday. It kind of feels like this weird, abusive, relationship I’ve had is coming to an end via death. I think the book portion of the store is actually a big loss for the town. A town without a dedicated bookstore always seems culturally bankrupt on some level. Hastings certainly wasn’t dedicated, but it was better than Wal-Mart, or Target. Honestly, I don’t know if that town could support an actual bookstore. I’m too far removed to guess at how much reading the populace does outside of the internet. In any case, it’s all part of the evolution of our culture generally, as we decide what roll physical books take in our lives now. I was buying books on Amazon even back when I worked at Hastings because their prices were identical with shipping, and I didn’t have to wait two weeks for the boo to show up. It’s actually pretty amazing that Hastings held on for so long really…
I still have nightmares from time to time about that store. Shopping really brings out the entitled worst in Americans. I would really like to know how it is in other countries. Do people treat staff like garbage everywhere, or do some places still have respect for the property of others, and other people? Let me know international readers. I’m very curious.