Maybe not everyone will understand what Carol is experiencing, but I certainly do. This is basically what the whole subtext of the prequel Star Wars movies is about. Fear of loss makes us insane. We’ll do all kinds of ridiculous shit to keep from losing something, but end up causing the loss ourselves in a kind of happiness suicide pact. I don’t think those movies do a good job of selling Akakin’s transition from happiness to insanity, but the foundation the idea is built on makes sense. It’s really unfortunate that those stories got told the way they did because it ends up making Anakin almost incapable of redemption in any real sense and fundamentally changes the tone of the other films. I guess on some level we all want to have sympathy for the devil because if he can be redeemed then whatever minor things we do should be easy to forgive by comparison. Honestly, as far as Star Wars goes, if I could edit one small thing out it would be Anakin murdering the children. I would be willing to accept, on some level, that he believes that the Jedi are enemies of the state and he’s chosen to side with the state and become a soldier under that banner. The adult Jedi are on one ideological side and he’s on the other. Not the best reason to kill, but not unlike what countries all over the world send soldiers to do every day. Killing the kids though, that crosses a line for me that sours his character. They weren’t old enough to choose sides. Basically that entire trilogy hinges on his fear of losing what he loved. It was just told in an inelegant way.
My pages for the Muffintop 3 anthology are due on Monday, I think. I’ve been trying to get them done as fast as possible, and I’ve been working on them for ages, but I’m going to go over my agreed upon page count. I doubt seriously that anyone will mind, since someone usually flakes at the last minute, but still. It would have been better all around if I stuck to what I said, and had a clearer idea of how to tell a story with sequential images… I’m not going to have time to ad tone to the thing, which is really a shame because I actually think it’s some of my best line work ever. Not having a short deadline, and not using color, allowed me to do a lot more than I get to for Between Failures. I’m also decent at depecting grass, dirt, and trees, so I played to my strengths for a change. I really want to finish this tonight, or tomorrow so I can still have that time for Splatfest, but I’m not sure I can. In any case, I should at least have it ready by the deadline. I would have rather not waited until this close to finish it, but the hospital stay, as you will all know by now, fucked that all up. I like to get things done as far ahead of a deadline as I can. Some people like the pressure of a deadline, but I am not one. I like buffers.
The Teen got her learner’s permit today. Soon she will be driving around with an adult supervisor. The car she inherited is a Ford Focus, I think. One of their smaller cars. I hate it. I hate all the cars from around that decade of Ford cars. Maybe it’s an Escort… In any case it’s too damn small for me to get in and out of comfortably. It’s made with people around 5 feet tall in mind. I don’t understand how her father ever drove the fucking thing. I can’t stand being that low to the ground and cramped. I hate driving anything with an angled field of vision where you have to look up. I like being high up with as much visual information at my disposal as possible. Which is why I like my little truck. It’s just about perfect as far as those factors are concerned. Also I can enter and exit it easily. It’s from the last few years when Ford made not shitty trucks. And by not shitty I mean not filled with computers and junk. Anyway, at some point I’m going to have to go with her to drive, so pray for me if that’s your thing. If not then… Don’t, I guess.
In closing, before I get another angry note: the GFM link.