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Do you ever get overwhelmed to the point that you just can’t focus on anything? I’m there at the moment & I know what to do to stop it, but I’m kind of basking in it for a minute. The trick is to ignore the totality of what you need to do & just focus on the thing you can do right now. It sounds simple, but it’s a skill. You have to learn to be able to do it. It took me years to train myself to be able to face my problems, or commitments, or whatever, with this mindset of “do what I can now & worry about the rest later”. My dad had turned this into a fucking art. He can be standing in the middle of a total disaster like some kind of zen master. When he’s done all he can do in a day he just sits down in his chair & goes to sleep. At some point in his life he learned to just turn the worry part of his brain off when it’s time to rest. I’m not there yet. I have to trick myself into it, but it’s a goal. I know if I could learn to do it I could work that much harder because I would be rested every time I started.

When I was little there wasn’t quite so much emphasis on every action having a monetary purpose, but now it seems like everything people do is considered pointless unless you can make money doing it. The internet even made it possible to monetize out leisure time. I expect that’s probably a lot more unhealthy than we realize. But that’s just the world now. At least until something changes.