When I packed all my stuff up because of the various disasters of the last few years I just kind of slung whatever into whatever box. Now that I’m going through them I’m finding things that clearly go to something, but I don’t know what. For example, I have a few Star Wars Black Series guns that I’m not sure what figure they came with, or why they weren’t in the box with them. They’re just loose until I finally find the box that has their figure in it. Some boxes are almost empty. I just closed them up to get them out of the way apparently and forgot I hadn’t filled them. Very inefficient.
I’ve also got a huge pile of unopened Lego sets, since I never had a chance to do anyhting with them when they came out. I bought them because they retire sets yearly, and trying to get them after market is ridiculously expensive. I can’t really do anything with them until I sort out everything else though. It really bothers me that I could die with this mountain of fun I never had a chance to enjoy. How sad would it be if that’s why I ended up haunting this house. I think for a lot of people these days there’s a stack of unplayed video games that would cause them to become a restless spirit. I’ve got a few of those too…

I’m always planning for a day where I’ll have time for all these things that may never come. My Grandmother’s stuff was mostly that kind of thing too. Stuff she was going to do once she was well enough again, but that day never came. Maybe I should just open a box and enjoy something for a change.

Part of why I hesitate is I have this idea that I should document what I do, for content. I’m not sure if that’s a toxic mindset or entrepreneurial anymore. All the stuff we used to do for entertainment, that people said would never have value, has made a few people extremely wealthy. I wonder if I have a personality that could achieve such things. On most social media my personality is repellant to a lot of people, so now I’m not really sure about it.

I’d really like to document the history of the Kenner Beetlejuice action figure line though. I’m sure someone out there also wants to know the minutia of that sort of successful toy line, but not have it read to them by some high energy dipshit.

Many of you know that I’m a fan of the Transformers franchise. The thing is I detest most of the people who have become the anointed of the “community”. At this point I think I need to accept that it’s a me problem, but I know that there are other people out there that watch the reviews and think “Fuck this cringe asshole”. There’s an audience for a low energy, jaded, person who gives their opinions it a way that doesn’t feel like the 40 year old version of Ryan’s toy reviews.

With Lego I don’t have as much of an issue because BrickVault and Jangbricks exist. They aren’t exactly what I want but they’re at least not sugar coated fuckwits. They just tell you stuff. Jang in particular is very businesslike in his presentation. I kind of feel like I could do nice, calm, build videos though. I’ve been worn down to the point where I feel like I don’t have a lot to say in general anymore, but I can quietly put together sets.

I dunno, I’m just kind of screwed up right now and it causes me to get these ideas I should probably just let go. After a lifetime of being told you’re special it’s difficult to just accept that maybe you’re just another schmuck with nothing interesting to contribute to the world.

“You say you’re not a looser, Billy Madison… so win.”

Several of my friends have gone on to do very impressive things. Which never surprises me. It takes an exceptional person to get along with me, so almost by default they tend to be a cut above. I’m starting to feel like I’m the worst of the best. On the spectrum of excellence I’m not in the average category, but I’m riding the line like a rented mule. If ever I do another project The Worst Of The Best would probably be a good title.

I dunno, it’s just really fucking irritating seeing aggressively average people become millionaires doing things that they exerted very little effort to achieve. Then again it might just be an issue of perception. If it was really that easy why haven’t you already done it, genius? Think you’re so fucking smart with your little comic and you’re opinions. Maybe you should stop judging and actually put your money on the table.

Maybe I should… But I should probably clean the table first.

Anyway, if you enjoy what I’m actually doing here please consider supporting it via the links above. I would certainly appreciate it.

Posts authored by Jackie

The Times Between 62.