2009-10-23-BFP524-markedman


524 Marked Man.

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I got a chance to see part of Transformers 2.  Even without being able to see the whole film I was able to take a moment to have a fictional conversation with the director.

J.T. :  Mr Bay, it’s nice to meet you.

Bay:  Hey, cool.  You know what’s awesome?  Explosions. 

J.T. :  Yeah, they’re great.  Listen, I have something I want you to meet.

Bay:  Will it explode after I talk to it? 

J.T. : I expect it might…  It’s right over here.  This is called a tripod.

Bay:  Tri…  Pod…?

J.T. : Yes, tripod.  It allows you to place a camera, or indeed a motion picture camera, in a fixed point in space. 

Bay:  Fixed point in space?  Is that some kind of explosion? 

J.T. : No, a fixed point in space is a place where something doesn’t move.  In the case of a video camera it allows people to experience whatever is recorded as though they were observing the scene themselves; like they were standing on solid ground. 

Bay:  Why would anyone want to do that?  It’s hard to see all of an explosion if you can’t zoom around it all the time. 

J.T. :  Well, it turns out that explosions can be enjoyed from a single angle.

Bay:  Pull the other one…

J.T. : Seriously.  One angle on an explosion is more than enough for most people.  In fact, if the camera moves around every single second it’s recording it actually gives some people motion sickness.

Bay:  That’s insane!  Who is going to watch scenes of intense emotional gravity if the camera isn’t spinning around the characters?  I’ve never heard anything so…  PLASTIC BAG!  PLASTIC BAG!

At this point a plastic bag blows by on a passing zephyr and Mr. Bay begins chasing it around the area, making explosion sound effects with his mouth.