257 Even.

9 Comments

Ed’s reaction at the end can actually be taken more than one way, depending on how you read it. I won’t explain it, because it’s demeaning to you, sexy, sexy, readers. Even after I wrote it I wasn’t sure what exactly he meant. It just seemed like he should say it.

9 Comments

I he should say it. You made the right call.

what is she quoting?

J.T.- Nothing in particular.

Well with the comments in this one added with the “Tough but fair” thing from earlier..bits of it at least are Treasure Island.

Please don’t take this the wrong way at all, but I just thought that (as an artist and possibly a writer) that you would like to know this for future reference to not make the same mistake. The line:

“We don’t tolerate dawdling, in the queen’s navy.”

It doesn’t require a comma. It’s a prepositional phrase, not a subordinate dependent clause, thus the only time you have to separate it from the sentence with a comma is if it is an EXCEPTIONALLY long prep. phrase… or if it is a series of several prep. phrases. Again, this isn’t anything but encouragement from an aspiring writing major to another writer.

Of course, if it had a comma in the original, the quote should keep the comma.

Also, it’s dialogue… so all grammatical rules go out the window… if she paused, then for us as readers to know that, it needs a comma.

She’s so sweet and innocent like a puppy and a kitten trying to slid into the same bunny slipper, touching really…

Or maybe you know, she was just nervous and that she just randomly made that mistake cough cough =P.

Gawd, what Brooksie is saying here feels so familiar… But I don’t even watch movies, so it just must be something stylistic…