2016-12-23-bf1632-useyourself


1632 Use Yourself.

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Hopefully I’ll be back from the store in time to write something else, but if I don’t I’m still at the store… so I’ll post something a little later on. Although sometimes I wonder if I should have a blog at all. Some people really don’t like the fact that I pretty much share all my troubles here. I’ve gotten so used to speaking to you all in a frank manner that I forget that you aren’t all really my friends. Most people just want to be entertained and not think about the person behind the content. I certainly understand that, as someone who has nearly been driven away from Questionable Content over a few offhanded tweets from Jeph. I wonder how much of the content I am. I certainly have thought of my adventures as worthy of sharing in the past… I like to post here because it reminds people that I’m human too. I try not to set myself apart from people in the way that a lot of creators have to in order to just get by. Of course the stuff I write rarely gets me death threats, or what have you. I know that my personality drive people away online as easily as it does in real life, that’s certainly become evident recently…

I’m in the store still. Typing from my phone… So yeah.

I don’t talk about my dad much because I worry that what I say might get out to his business contacts. That said, I feel like I need to talk about something, and at this point there’s nothing the world can do to hurt the subject now anyway. A couple weeks ago the man who ran the mill was diagnosed with cancer in his brain and lungs. It was very aggressive, but they gave him some hope rather than a ticking clock. The man he used to work for had stage 4 cancer and lasted two pretty good years, so it’s not like it was insane to have hope. Unfortunately the cancer spread so fast that in a handful of days it was out of control and took his life two weeks to the day he was diagnosed. He was a nice man and my father spoke well of him, which actually means something coming from him. He was a real, old school, hippie that settled down. I only met him a couple of times, but he was weirdly likable in a way you rarely feel so quickly. His death is a real shame for a lot of people and a lot of reasons. Not a lot of young people know how to run a mill anymore, nor do they want to. People sometimes like to say that any person can be replaced. Sadly, it’s true, but I think a good measure of a person is how hard it is to actually do it. In this man’s case I don’t think it’s going to be easy, and that will be extra hard for my dad.
My father is the hardest man I’ve ever known. Tough in the way actors like John Wayne pretended to be. But he works hard and is the way he is because he cares about taking care of people. Even thought he rarely shows it. I don’t know if dad thought of him as a friend, but I know he’s going to feel the loss. He’s already been helping out the widow and son. He always told my sister and I to try and do some good in the world, and he lives by those words. No matter how shitty things are.
Those are harder words to live up to than you might at first think, but I try to follow his example with the gifts I’ve been given. Benjamin Franklin supposedly started out every day by asking himself “What good shall I do today?” I only recently learned that, but it turns out someone had been teaching it to me my whole life already.