2018-11-07-BF1924-doctordisrespect


1924 Doctor Disrespect.

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I ordered a used copy of Tetris DX & it arrived in fine condition. It seems to have been largely unplayed. Many modes didn’t have any data saved to them and the ones that did had very low scores. As far as I can tell the internal battery seems to be in working order from lack of use. I’ve never seen one of these internal batteries last over 15 years, but I don’t think it’s outside of possibility with limited use. The battery in my original copy of Legend Of Zelda lasted for at least a decade. Possibly longer, but I didn’t keep careful track since th game can be completed so quickly it hardly mattered. I’m not sure about my copy of Final Fantasy 3 (6) which I saved tons of times on. It’s a shame that you can’t transfer old data into new games. I had at least one perfect save on my old pak. The SNES version of FF6 is hardly the best in many ways, but it does load sound properly whereas the disk versions that were ported later don’t. Anyway, Tetris DX is going to be able to do the only thing I care about, which is playing tetris with slightly upgraded graphics. I always turn the music off, so the new soundtrack doesn’t matter to me. I will say that the new soundtrack isn’t very good. I like the colored tetrominos though.

I was looking for a copy of the old instruction booklet to see what the various game modes did and stuff and found out that there’s a very dedicated community of people who analyze various aspects of all versions of Tetris. It’s very interesting how dedicated they are to the ins and outs of the game mechanics.

I was sitting here listening to a video while doing other stuff & noticed something that has been happening more often. Sometimes, when I’m watching informational videos particularly, after the speaker says something I repeat it to myself in my head, almost like an echo. Not always , but sometimes, and usually when I’m feeling tired. It’s not something that used to happen, and I can’t find anything about it online because I don’t know how to describe it in a way that search engines can parse. There’s also the problem of tons of medical “diarrhea sites” shat all over the internet in a cloying attempt to get ad revenue. It’s odd and unnerving but it’s also sort of like having a song stuck in my head. Except the words don’t repeat the way it does with songs. They just sort of get repeated one time. I think of them later sometimes, but it’s not the same as that musical repetition you get with an earworm.
I think it’s safe to say that my insomnia, anxiety, and everything else have slowly damaged my cognitive functions as I’ve gotten older. Which points to actual physical damage being done over time. I know I don’t think as fast as I did when I was young partially because I’ve trained myself not to think because I can’t handle the constant stream of it the way I was able to when I was younger. It also seems like I’ve just slowed down from age, depression over time, or a combination of the two. I’m still pretty clever in a pinch but it’s not the fountain it once was. As someone who has always felt like my intelligence was the base of my value as a person it’s really quite depressing to realize that it’s beginning to wane. There are likely a multitude of factors all contributing to this “brain drain”, some I can control, and some I can’t. I really miss the constant spark of creativity I couldn’t contain even 5 years ago. It’s more like an ember now and that truly, deeply, hurts. What am I without the ability or will to create? Useless. Nothing. How chilling it is to think that I could run out of everything that makes me who I am.